Moving on (Farther) Up

Hi friends,

Since Paris (which, especially upon reading this article, I am dying to return to. I think I'll just read Ines de la Fressange's book instead - more economical), I have been very lax about the blog (apologies), but there has been a lot going on.
Perhaps most importantly, I've signed a lease on my first solo apartment! I am so excited!
This entire experience has been a complete whirlwind, so I will attempt to break it down for you. My roommate, who is an intellectual badass, is leaving New York when our lease is up August 1 to attend the University of Chicago. This, coupled with the fact that I've been wanting to summon up the courage to find my own place, led me to start trolling the internet for inexpensive studio apartments. This mostly consisted of absentminded searches on Craigslist and other no-fee rental websites, but, since I didn't see myself moving for another two or three months, I wasn't starting to freak out yet.
As you may have guessed, that did not last long. A week ago, I checked CitiHabitats, just for kicks, since they usually don't have much in the price range I was looking for. And then, it happened. I found the most adorable, excellently located little enclave of a pre-war apartment with street-facing windows, ten foot ceilings, and a bathroom that wasn't in the hallway outside. Open House today from 6-6:30? Don't mind if I do.
So, in the half hour window I had between leaving work and going to babysit, I went to the apartment and found that it was not, in fact, too good to be true. It sounds strange, but even in the five or ten minutes I spent in this admittedly little space, I could tell that if I didn't jump on it I was going to be very sorry.
Long story short, after much agonizing, much appreciated parental support (both fiscal and emotional), and filling out an endless amount of forms, I signed the lease. I move in June 1, and could not be happier (aside from the nagging stress of finding a sublet for my current room). It sounds ridiculous, but I really feel that this new living situation might change my life in less than obvious ways. We shall see.
I'm showing the apartment to my mother (real estate wizard and interior decorator extraordinaire, thank god) next week, so maybe I'll take some photos of my new little home.
Now, it's back to work. XO

PS. On a completely different and somber note, I've been looking at the photos taken by the two photographers killed in Libya yesterday. The New York Times photo blog has some really excellent collections. Also, this article on the aftermath of their deaths is unvarnished and truly moving. I've been so caught up with my own issues lately, which seem pretty insignificant in comparison to this kind of senseless loss. It's so important and hard to try to keep things in perspective.

"Your Dreams Will Go Higher Than Expectation Could Be"

I got that in a fortune cookie once, and saved it. Despite the semi-broken English, It's always given me a little bit of encouragement whenever I rediscover it.
Truth is, I have a lot of dreams for myself. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, I sometimes find myself avoiding looking them in the face, since it sometimes feels like I'm so far away from achieving even one of them. I know that I'm young in the ways of the real world, and I probably have years to work towards goals that I've set for myself. The honest truth is, though, that my impatience and disappointment compound and work against me - to the point where I feel stupidly paralyzed by my own inactivity. All of that sounds like a bunch of nonsense and self-pity, which it sort of is. This is just where I am this Monday night, I guess.
However, this was not mean to be a post where I just bitch at the abyss of the internet. This is actually supposed to be motivating! So, tonight I wrote a list of the short-term, tangible goals (dreams, if you're feeling wistful). By tangible, I mean things that are actually possible, like "always be reading something for pleasure, even if it sometimes feels like work" as opposed to "marry someone for his intelligence and charm only to find out that he's the secret crown-prince of Monaco." You get the idea.
The first, and the one I'll share here, is to publish something, even in the most obscure, only-to-be-read-by-my-immediate-family, type of online journal, by the end of this year. This means several things. The first being, I have to write something. The second, logically, is that I have to finish whatever it is that I write. This may seem deceptively simple, but it can be quite the opposite - especially finishing the things that I start. I've been starting different stories at a pretty good clip lately, so the trick will be making myself bring things to a swift and successful conclusion. So, I'm going to forge ahead. If I'm lucky, I may end up one little step closer to the things I want.