NYC was pretty today

And I got to experience a little bit of it! En route to some post-work decompression, I sauntered down 17th street from Park to 8th Avenue.



I've been feeling a little down lately, I must admit. While optimism is the name of my game, as I think it needs to be if you're 22 (almost 23. Yikes.) and this is the only job market you've ever known, it's tough to realize that I graduated from Barnard one year ago yesterday. While I personally think I've worked hard and learned a great deal, it's difficult because I feel I have very little that's tangible to show for it. There have been moments in the past couple of days when I've felt like it might be impossible for me to get a job (with all the interviews, no offers, etc), which is a very disheartening and ridiculous thing to think, I know. It's also a potentially dangerous mindset to be in, considering my interview at CFR on Monday. My confidence needs to absolutely be at its height, but there's a more than faint voice in my head telling me I'm not qualified for the job, which has never happened before. This is ridiculous for a lot of reasons - the first and only real one being that CFR has chosen to interview me, which they would not do if I weren't qualified (plus my spy there told me that they received thousands of resumes - a little necessary self-congratulation).
I'm not sure why, since I've obviously received plentiful rejections from Publishing houses before, but this latest one has really affected me. It's the first time one of my mentors or contacts has interviewed me for a job, so that sort of experience is new, I guess. Whatever the reason, I'm a bit shaken, so I have decided that I need to get (even more) proactive, as my parents would say. Thanks, Mom and Dad.
This weekend shall be Francesca's Weekend of Wine Stores. While I've been somewhat sporadically pursuing different places, concerned about prestige or selection or location up until now, I am going to hit the pavement this weekend, resumes in hand, and, I hope, have a second job by Sunday night. I'll chronicle the journey here to make sure I stay on my toes (and that I actually do it). Who knows, maybe I'll taste some good things along the way. After all, drinking on the job is one of the fringe benefits of this operation.
Oh, and, yes, I realize I need to write something, at the risk of sounding like a non-productive broken record. I will. Tomorrow. I swear.