(Not So) Lazy Sunday

I was very not lazy today. My day was all about wine stores and foreign policy. Quite the combination.
I spent the morning running around the Upper East Side on a double edged mission: to visit the wine stores on my list and find a newsstand that sold Foreign Affairs, which was actually much more complicated than I anticipated.
I made some significant headway in the wine store arena. While I keep (probably annoyingly) pestering Sherry Lehman and Italian Wine Merchants, they aren't hiring yet, so I've set my sights on a couple of less prestigious but still comprehensive stores. One is Union Square Wines and the second is ABC Wine Company, in Alphabet City. I found out about ABC through the owner's blog, East Village Wine Geek, which is really informative and funny. I met with the managers at both places and gave them my resume, so there's a chance (fingers crossed) that something will pull through soon. In the meantime, there are inevitably more stores to visit, but I needed to donate a significant amount of my day to interview prep.
As I mentioned before, I've been feeling less than confident about this job (Publishing Associate at Foreign Affairs), due mostly to the concentration of rejection I've gotten in the past month and also to the fact that this job is outside my immediate comfort zone. However, that's what branching out is all about, right? In any event, I felt less than qualified, which is silly since they wouldn't waste their time interviewing me if I weren't. Suffice it to say, I was a little worried that I wasn't going to be able to go in guns blazing tomorrow. And, like most people, when I'm not feeling comfortable, it shows. A lot. Not exactly the best mindset pre-job interview.
However, today I discovered that knowledge is power. I bought Foreign Affairs and Foreign Policy Magazine, revisited my experience with online marketing and social media, had a long and very helpful discussion with my beloved CFR insider, visited possibly every link on the Foreign Affairs website, and (several hours later) felt exponentially better about everything.
I feel as if I have a handle on the magazine's approach to social media, and I see places where they could improve their connection to their online readers, create more of a community, which they could then use to market in a more tailored way to those readers - the ultimate goal in social networking for any business. Basically, it's gotten me so excited about this interview. Working for a non-partisan, foreign affairs-focused magazine isn't what I anticipated when I graduated from school, but this opportunity is honestly the one that I've been the most excited about in months. I'm beginning to realize (a little late, maybe) that I never really felt passionate about book publishing. It's just always what I thought I should do, what I had internship experience in, etc. I love to write. I love to read about books and authors and everything publishing-related, but that definitely doesn't mean I should work in publishing. If anything, it probably means I shouldn't.
Plus, listening to the podcasts, round tables, and just reading the articles and mission statement of Foreign Affairs has me so beyond excited. The thought of working with such intelligent, driven, and forward-thinking people is incredible. Plus, while I (admittedly) am no expert in international relations, the research I have done is fascinating, and the prospect of publishing essays and commentary by major players in the world is obviously pretty amazing.
So, my Sunday was the opposite of lazy, basically. I'm going to go write, like, 8 more outlines of points I want to hit tomorrow (I get a little obsessive), and go to bed.
Send me good, lucky vibes tomorrow!

For some added entertainment, I give you the inspiration for the title of this entry:

NYC was pretty today

And I got to experience a little bit of it! En route to some post-work decompression, I sauntered down 17th street from Park to 8th Avenue.



I've been feeling a little down lately, I must admit. While optimism is the name of my game, as I think it needs to be if you're 22 (almost 23. Yikes.) and this is the only job market you've ever known, it's tough to realize that I graduated from Barnard one year ago yesterday. While I personally think I've worked hard and learned a great deal, it's difficult because I feel I have very little that's tangible to show for it. There have been moments in the past couple of days when I've felt like it might be impossible for me to get a job (with all the interviews, no offers, etc), which is a very disheartening and ridiculous thing to think, I know. It's also a potentially dangerous mindset to be in, considering my interview at CFR on Monday. My confidence needs to absolutely be at its height, but there's a more than faint voice in my head telling me I'm not qualified for the job, which has never happened before. This is ridiculous for a lot of reasons - the first and only real one being that CFR has chosen to interview me, which they would not do if I weren't qualified (plus my spy there told me that they received thousands of resumes - a little necessary self-congratulation).
I'm not sure why, since I've obviously received plentiful rejections from Publishing houses before, but this latest one has really affected me. It's the first time one of my mentors or contacts has interviewed me for a job, so that sort of experience is new, I guess. Whatever the reason, I'm a bit shaken, so I have decided that I need to get (even more) proactive, as my parents would say. Thanks, Mom and Dad.
This weekend shall be Francesca's Weekend of Wine Stores. While I've been somewhat sporadically pursuing different places, concerned about prestige or selection or location up until now, I am going to hit the pavement this weekend, resumes in hand, and, I hope, have a second job by Sunday night. I'll chronicle the journey here to make sure I stay on my toes (and that I actually do it). Who knows, maybe I'll taste some good things along the way. After all, drinking on the job is one of the fringe benefits of this operation.
Oh, and, yes, I realize I need to write something, at the risk of sounding like a non-productive broken record. I will. Tomorrow. I swear.

I love this woman

I cried while watching this. No joke.

*Also, I particularly enjoy that her lenses are Barnard Blue. Go, Meryl!

Rollercoaster Day

Oh man. Today was all over the place. The weather was gross, and my temp job, while running along smoothly, was epically slow and boring today.
While at work, I got an email telling me I didn't get the publishing job I interviewed for last week. It was the same explanation I've gotten dozens of times...the job has been offered to another candidate, but I was a top contender. I have a great resume, they really enjoyed meeting me, sure I'll find something great...blah blah.
I sound bitter, I know, but I feel like there's only so much more of this I can take right now. Which is probably why it's good that I'm branching out to other areas. Definitely enough publishing attempts for a while.
So, I was really upset. It was torrentially raining. I forgot an umbrella. It was cold and I was drenched. I sat down on the bus and there was a leak in the roof that was dripping directly on my head. Then, I got an email from the Council on Foreign Relations asking me to come in and interview next week. Hope springs eternal, I guess.

So, I know I said I'd write tonight, but tomorrow I will. That's a promise.

In Which I Get A Free Lunch

I commence this blog from the investment firm from which I shall temp for the next two weeks. Although I work a little longer (8:30-5:30) and for less money per hour, the amount I will save on coffee alone makes it worth it. Well, not really, but the free lunch, drinks, etc in the swanky offices will definitely make life a little easier.
Just returned from a nice, relaxing weekend at home, and I'm liking the fact that, since this new assignment is just for two weeks, there's none of the pressure I felt at my previous job. Overall, feeling good.
That being said, I forgot how much applying for jobs, especially in industries I'm unfamiliar with, is like a full-time job in itself. Lots of cover letters, sending emails to alumnae (politely) begging them to help me, etc. Of course, I'm more than a little peeved that I still haven't heard from the interview I went on over a week ago, especially since I was interviewed by one of my publishing mentors. Sigh.
In other news, there are two wine stores (Bottlerocket & Wine at 79) who have shown interest in hiring me part-time. I'm thinking that, even though they aren't the super prestigious stores I'm interested in, I might gain some experience there and then have another go at Sherry Lehman or Italian Wine Merchants. We'll see.
Tomorrow, I'll do some more proprioceptive stuff, hopefully. See you then!

Day of Writing (Not the Fun Kind)

I've been in a cover-letter-rewriting and job-applying tunnel all day, which is fine since it was really cold and foggy here today and easy to stay inside and get lots done. Cover letters are a strange beast. I'm someone who generally enjoys writing, and never really dreads it, but writing cover letters is something I absolutely hate. I'm not sure what it is about them, but it seems a universal truth that everyone despises writing them. There's something about summing up all of your experiences in a relevant way, using such carefully selected words, that is stupidly tedious and time-consuming. Then, of course, there's the understanding that everything you write will play such a role in whether or not some company calls you in for an interview. After a couple of hours of this, plus searching for the right jobs, my head starts to swim. Oh well, best to make the best use of this time when I'm not temping. If I'm not getting paid, I might as well be doing something productive!

Ok, enough of that. Now for something completely different. This is neither fiction nor pure truth. I just went with it today - with the prompt of "games people play."

I don't like routine, so I always try to keep people on their toes. When someone never knows what to expect from me, I consider it a personal victory.
It doesn't hurt my cause that I'm moody by nature, and sometimes see each interaction I have in a given day as a new opportunity to exorcise, even in some small way, how how I feel at that moment. Even if it's just thanking the coffee guy, or nervously smiling at someone new, there's definite transparency to how I act, for better or worse.
At the same time, I can be painfully self-conscious or unnecessarily confident, which factors into the equation as well. I realize that I'm effectively describing every hot-blooded woman ever, but I think everyone likes to believe that they are different, and the way their lives interlock with those of others is unique.
I like to think that a lot of people "know" who I am, and that I am not often guarded or performing in some way. I am more or less consistent, and maybe the shifts I make in myself aren't noticeable to others, but I believe this little charade I play is less me running with my multitude of emotions than a way to continually keep things interesting.

I leave you with this, a picture of "productivity." Plans B, C, and D.

Reunion & Renewal of Efforts

After losing my job last Wednesday, I was able to take a mini-vacation back to Simsbury, CT to the old alma mater, Westminster, for my five year high school reunion. It was a bit surreal, to say the least. We had a really incredible turnout, almost 75% of the Class of 2005 ended up making the journey. Campus has changed so much since I was back, especially since the building where I took all of my classes was bulldozed and replaced by a completely ridiculous(ly amazing) $40 million new one. That, coupled with the fact that a lot of the teachers I was close with in high school were either not at the reunion or no longer at Westminster, made me feel a little out of place. It was nice to catch up with some people from school though, and definitely nice to not dwell on my job situation for a few days.
Yesterday, upon return, I went back to Barnard (lots of trips down memory lane lately), where there is also a huge and expensive new building, completed since I graduated. I went to the Career Development office, and saw my old counselor, Robert, who is stupidly good at making me be proactive and encouraging me while making sure I walk out of his office energized and with a plan. In addition to going after publishing still, I'm now looking for jobs in three new areas: corporate communications (HR), advertising/PR, and legal assistant work (still contemplating the scary LSATs).
Went to the temp agency today, basically reassuring myself that I'll be able to work regularly and (sort of) have enough money until I find something permanent.
However, what I'm REALLY hoping is that I get the job I interviewed for on Friday and that none of this is necessary! Though experience has taught me not to be optimistic about these things...

So, I'm actually going to write something tomorrow and put it on here, promise. Until then!